"Where we love is home - home that our feet may leave but not our hearts"
-Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
Why one might ask I can't possibly forget Shamim?
Is it love?
Well, I don't know.
Simply because he feels like home.
I don't know how to describe the feeling. But he feels like home.
"Home" is basically the perfect, spot-on word to describe the feeling.
Whenever he's by my side everything feels ok, even when a lot of things seems to go wrong and it feels as though the world is going to tumble down, when he's by me it seems as though everything really will be fine.
Like everything is fine.
Like I'm home, which is exactly where I belong.
Someone came to surprise me just so I could have a perfect weekend after a very stressful week :)
But I keep cruising Can't stop, won't stop moving It's like I got this music In my mind Saying, "It's gonna be alright."
'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake I shake it off, I shake it off Heart-breakers gonna break, break, break, break, break And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake I shake it off, I shake it off
I never miss a beat I'm lightning on my feet And that's what they don't see, mmm-mmm that's what they don't see, mmm-mmm
Real friends get sad, not insanely and irrationally angry.
Real friends don't mess with their friends secrets behind their back and turning everything into their own story.
Real friends don't easily dengki their friends. They won't feel one is the better fried than the other.
Tak ada hasad dengki dan degil in a real friendship.
Most importantly, real friends don't keep track of every little things they do just so they have a list of things to bash the other friend in any case.
In this case, whatever happens I still love Zana and Ain.
But no matter. Things will get better eventually.
PS: real friends don't keep quite and stay in the dark to watch their other friends get killed by other so-called friends.
You can't forever keep track of the things you do for other people and then shoots them back for the things you've done for them.
And you can't do that with love. It simply made me feel like I've done the exact right choice to not be with you.
And you can't simply create ideas that were never there. Like for example, the way you "tried" me was by creating the idea that we were already together and then simply realizing the whole idea that were never there. And you did everything as if we were already together, forcing me to feel guilty if I ever rejected or felt otherwise.
I can't even say I'm hungry. You'll bring me food in 5 minutes.
I can't say I'm stressed with life, you'll come by my block to take me for a ride around UTM.
I can't say my meeting will end late, you'll come to my office to accompany me and later on take me back so I won't be alone.
And I know this for sure because you're doing the exact same thing to Leha.
You can't forever keep a list of the things you do for other people and then shoots them back for the things you've done for them.
And you can't do that with love. It doesn't make people regret the choices they made, or feel the slightest guilt. It made people realize how much they regretted ever knowing you.
Sometimes I feel like you applied the things Evo practice in love.
Whatever it is, I hope you come to realize how wrong you take life, and truly become a better person for your sake.
A scene from the sisterhood of the travelling pants 2.
Julia :
"What you get a couple of good reviews and now suddenly I'm not good enough to be your friend? In case you forgot, Carmen I brought you here. So you wouldn't have any of this if it weren't for me"
Carmen:
"But you didn't really give me anything.
I am who I've always been, and, sure,
maybe for a minute, I was a little insecure.
I know you did what you could
to keep me that way.
Right?
Look, Julia, I'm very sorry
if my tiny bit of success...
...feels like I've taken something
from you.
But if there's one thing
I've learned this summer...
...it's that no one can diminish you
but yourself.
I really do hate it when people say things like "uuuuu glamour", "retis", "uuuu femes".
I really just don't like it.
Simply because I hate myself on tv, and I don't feel like I've done anything worth the publicity.
I only promoted for the sake of the program.
Also, I never ever thought I'd get this much coverage. I honestly did the program because I truly love Sudan and feel the need to help them in any way I can.
I'm pretty darn sure you had to struggle so so much to raise me up alone.
You lost everything during the accident, and you almost lost your hand too.
And only now I think I truly understand how you had to struggle being only 3 years married, losing your soulmate and then having to take care of the little kid alone.
You did a good job Umi.
I hope you don't need people's approval for that.
I'm happy for the girl I grew up to be.
I'm not saying I'm good enough, but I'm happy and content for the person I am today and for the great things I have right now thanks to you.
Thank you for always tucking me in, thank you for never letting me miss a meal, thank you for not sleeping when I couldn't just to keep me company.
Thank you for accompanying me to swimming classes and scuba diving courses.
Thank you for even offering me to take the swimming classes when only now I could come to see that you had so little money that time but still had the guts to offer simply because you wanted me to be good at everything.
Thank you for being there for me all throughout the accident.
Thank you for being the best single parent there ever was. You're a real supermom.
You have no idea how much "I'm so proud of you" and "You turned out to be a fine lady" means to me Umi.
You've definitely raised me up to more than I can be.
"So sepanjang setahun, apa benda paling besar yang Nad belajar?"
I learnt that a certain political organization in this country that I thought was stupid really is stupid. And that is justified by all that you guys are doing.
