A Reason to Smile and Worry

Before I start, a warning, this might be a very geli post to many. But it's a piece of my mind I want to share anyways.

 

 So it's been over 4 months since we confronted our feelings. Since then, we've been more than best friends. 

We've been close friends since KMB. We shared a lot of things, a lot of stories.

Since that moment, he's made me happier than ever, even with just his presence. Which scares me since we're not halal yet. There's this torn up feeling. Yes, we rarely talk on the phone and we never see each other. But when we are in touch, he's never failed to make my feelings grow stronger for him.

His efforts to be here for me despite the limitations and "distance" makes me so happy.

But this morning...

"Awk tau x sy sedih tgk awk skt2 mcm ni.

Xksh la awk nk pk sy tipu ke ape ke, 

sy tau ape sy rse.

Sy xboleh awk sedih, sy sedih jgak.

Sy xtau wak,

Sy just rse sy xbole hilang awk.

Sy mnx maaf sy ckp ni,

tp sy dah tutt sgt wak kat awk 

sgtt."

*he literally said "tutt" instead of... the other word

My heart dropped and it felt like time stopped for a while.

"Sy belum lg suami awk,

tp sy nak jaga awk setakat mampu.
Sy akan cuba utk sentiasa ada dgn awak k."

The words of Kostos for Lena

Thank you Shamim Ahmad, for never failing to make me smile.